From time to time scouts (and leaders) will argue, disagree or be annoyed with another scout or leader. It is very important we sort these situations out, whether it is two individuals are a group of people.
Nobody wants arguments, they are unpleasant and makes everyone feel bad.
Sometimes we all get pretty angry.
We could throw a huge tantrum, get really upset, be mean to everybody etc.
This would not be helpful !!
Well, what could you do?
Try to sort things out so that everyone gets a fair go and something of what they want. There are 4 things that you need to do.
2 Avoid making things worse
3 Work together
4 Find the solution
Everyone involved needs to understand what the conflict (argument) is about.
To do this, everyone needs to:
say what they feel about it (without interruptions).
listen to what other people have to say about their feelings (without interrupting them).
Be empathic i.e. try to put themselves in the other person's shoes and try to understand their point of view.
no mean, nasty remarks that will hurt people's feelings - no personal remarks about a person's looks, gender (whether they are a boy or girl), their 'secrets' or things that have happened in the past
no screaming and shouting
no fighting, hitting, kicking, pushing or any kind of hurting the other person's body.
Say what you feel without blaming the other person, e.g. "I feel sad when you shout" is better to say than "Your shouting makes me feel sad."
Take turns at speaking. You might even want to decide on a time limit for each person to speak before you get started. That way everybody gets the same chance to say what he or she wants.
Talk quietly. It's hard to keep your voice down when you feel upset, but a quiet firm voice is far better than someone shouting. A loud nasty voice makes everyone upset and unwilling to listen.
Write down what you each see as the problem and then read what the other person has written.
Once you have listened to each other and found what the problem is, then you need to look for a solution.
Brainstorm together to think of ways in which you could resolve the conflict. Think of as many solutions as you can, even if they seem silly at first.
Another person may be helpful to write down your ideas or suggest ways of making your ideas work so that you can resolve the conflict.
Everyone should be happy with the outcome and move on as friends.
Remember if you cannot sort out problems among yourselves or you are feeling unhappy you MUST tell the leaders and we can help.